Going into college, I never saw myself as a sorority girl. 

Don't get me wrong, I love Legally Blonde as much as the next girl.  Elle Woods is a total kickass feminist icon and my friends and I used to joke freshman year that we were sisters of Delta Nu because we liked boys and parties but we also wanted gender equality and to know that we could ace law school too if we wanted.  

But really, when it came down to it, I started college not knowing what Greek Life was all about.  Some people said they loved it.  Others said it wasn't for them.  I apparently missed the application for rush, so I figured I stood with the latter. 

So how did it come to be that now, as a junior at the University of Michigan, I am writing this as a sister of Gamma Phi Beta?  Let's rewind.

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Having missed my opportunity freshman year, I decided to go through formal recruitment as a sophomore.  I knew a bit more about Greek Life - I was surrounded by it in my classes and it was intriguing.  Although I still wasn't sure where I stood, I figured that I would learn more about it by going through rush, and then I could at least make an educated decision for or against.

At the time, there were some key things that I really liked about sororities.  I loved the idea of sisterhood.  I love meeting new people.  And with Michigan being such a large campus, the possibility of making it smaller was great.  I loved the idea of having a social life.  I loved the idea of getting involved in a philanthropy.  And yet, I still didn't know everything.  I went into formal recruitment excited but trying to keep an open mind.  I reminded myself not to get caught up in it all.  Would it be better to join a sorority I didn't really feel at home in than to not join a sorority at all?  I kept this thought in the back of my mind as I went from house to house.

To be completely honest, I hated formal recruitment.  How was any house expected to get to know me based on a five-minute conversation?  There's a lot more to me than small talk.  Actually, I'm a lot more confident once we get past the small talk and you actually make an effort to know me.  But that wasn't what this was about.  This seemed like an awful competition of who was prettiest and who knew more guys in fraternities.  It was a really uncomfortable experience for me.  

This did, however, make it easy to narrow down the houses.  I continued through rush because, while I didn't feel at home with many houses, there were some that felt more genuine and like me. Nothing against those sororities, but there is something to be said about wanting to find a real home-away-from-home.  And although I considered dropping rush a few times, I did really enjoy one house in particular.  I loved the sisters I talked with, I loved their values, I loved their philanthropy... it seemed a perfect match.

And then something terrible happened.  I didn't get a bid.  And I was totally devastated, because they had really given me a glimpse at what sorority sisterhood could be, and I wasn't a part of it.  I felt like I had gotten enough time to get to know them, but they hadn't gotten to know me.  Yet another reason to resent the whole formal recruitment process.   Although I got a snap bid from another sorority, I kept that original question in mind and just didn't feel at home there.  And as a sophomore, I didn't want to join just to join, so I turned down my bid.  I don't regret that decision - it was the right choice at the time. 

 But walking away from Greek Life altogether was bittersweet.  Even if I didn't enjoy the process, I walked away from recruitment knowing that a sisterhood that was like a second home was possible, and I wanted a part of it more than ever.  I loved the idea of having a large support network of friends I knew would be there for me, and who I could be there for.

At the end of formal recruitment, my Rho Omega (recruitment adviser) told me that if I changed my mind and was interested, a new sorority called Gamma Phi Beta would be joining the U-M campus the coming fall, and that even though I would be a junior, they would be recruiting a full class of girls of all ages.  I tucked that in the back of my mind and continued through my sophomore year. 

As I returned to campus to begin my junior year.  I began to see Gamma Phi Beta banners, posters, and colors all over campus. There was a bit of pink everywhere I went.  So I decided, that despite being a junior, I would meet with the advisers and go through extension recruitment, just to see if I could find that feeling that I found going through rush the year before.

Gamma Phi Beta-Beta Chapter was founded at the University of Michigan in 1882 - it has a long history (The term"sorority"? Yeah, you're welcome for that.).  However, the chapter left campus for a while.  But today more girls are going through formal recruitment than ever, and there aren't enough sororities on campus to satisfy these numbers.  So the Office of Greek Life selected three sororities to join our campus over the next six years - with Gamma Phi Beta being the first to recolonize.

This was the first aspect that drew me to that first recruitment meeting. I loved the idea of being a part of a recolonizing class.  It was such a unique experience - the opportunity to join the thriving Greek community at Michigan, but also the opportunity to really build our own image, our own reputation on campus.  

I found that 'home' feeling that I had been looking for right away.  Every girl that I spoke to going through recruitment was so genuine.  And I loved that we actually got the chance to really talk to the other girls, the CLC's, the alumni... there were no five-minute small talk impressions to be made.  It was real.  And there was a diverse group of women, from nuclear engineers to artists.  They were fascinating and sweet to talk to, and I instantly wanted to get to know all of them better. 

I also fell in love with Gamma Phi's philanthropy - Building Strong Girls.  It's the idea of being strong role models for young girls and instilling in them values of confidence from a young age, giving them the strength to stand up against bullies or to grow into confident young women.  We work with Girls on the Run, for example, to not only keep these girls strong through staying active, but to help them build their mental strength.  As someone who has struggled with self-confidence over the years, I think this philanthropy is so important.  What we teach girls will shape how they grow through life.  I think it's easy to overlook mental health, but that shouldn't be the case - it's as important as staying physically healthy.  So a philanthropy that embodied both was inspiring.  And not only are we, as sisters, getting to help build strong girls, but we are becoming stronger women for it.

It didn't take long for me to completely fall in love with Gamma Phi Beta.  I realized that not getting a bid the year before was a blessing in disguise, because this was my home-away-from-home.  We received bids as a surprise on preference night of recruitment, and it was one of the happiest moments of my collegiate experience thus far.

But really, that was only the beginning of the journey.

Now over a semester in, and a fully initiated member in a chapter that just received our charter back, I understand even better what being in a sorority means, and why I love it so much.

I think my favorite aspect about being in a sorority is the sisterhood (not to sound cliche, but it's true).  I'm so tired of hearing people say, "Being in a sorority is paying for your friends."  My answer?  If I paid for my friends, I surely didn't pay enough.  I paid for the opportunities that my sorority offers me - I paid for a community.  But it just so happens that membership in that community comes with 200 or so girls that I know would always answer my call or have my back if I asked.  I still have friends outside of my sorority, but that doesn't mean that I haven't met some incredible girls through Gamma Phi that I never would have met otherwise.  It even brought my cousin and I closer together, as she's my little twin.  And there are still girls that I don't know very well yet.  And that's great, because I continuously have the chance to meet new people.

 I've learned that Greek Life is not always about mixers and formals or tailgates.  It's about cultivating leadership skills through the opportunities offered. I serve as social media chairwoman and community manager for our chapter, and working as a part of the grander Public Relations team has been incredible.  We have board meetings and you get a taste of what a professional team is like.  Really, running a chapter is like running a small business - it takes so many people to step up in different roles, from finances to event-planning and so on - and you can learn so much from participating and observing the operations.  Greek life also teaches good life skills, whether it's how to start up a conversation with a practical stranger, or the value of being involved on campus. 

Like I said, this is really only the beginning of the journey for me.  Being in a sorority is really a life-long commitment.  I have made incredible friendships, gained confidence, learned so much... and I hope to only continue to grow.  Our chapter is new, but we're thriving on passion, because we all understand now what it means to be in a sorority, even if it took us until our junior year.

It was never about being pretty enough, or smart enough, or whatever enough in comparison to the other girls.  Because Gamma Phi Beta never made it a competition.  It made it a home, where everyone can feel comfortable in who they are.  It brings strong women together to make them even stronger.  I have a network of girls that I can go to dinner with, or study with, or go out with, or get involved on campus with, or talk to if I'm ever going through a hard time.  Because I know that they're there for me, the same way I hope to be there for them.  I'm surrounded by incredible women that I never would have met if it wasn't for the decision to take a chance and give Greek Life another shot. 

As many sisters say, from the outside, you don't understand it, but from the inside, you can't explain it.  The only way you'll learn is to see it for yourself.  That's what I finally realized after my freshman year, and it changed my perspective entirely.  I don't regret a minute of it, because I have 200 new best friends and a place to always come home to.